“Big T” vs. “Little t” Trauma — Understanding How Trauma Impacts You
When people hear the word trauma, they often think of something catastrophic — like a natural disaster, abuse, or a serious accident. While those events absolutely are trauma, they’re not the only kind.
Many people come to therapy wondering:
"Is what I went through even trauma?"
The truth is: if it overwhelmed your system, changed how safe you feel in the world, or shaped how you relate to yourself or others — it matters.
What Is “Big T” Trauma?
Big T trauma refers to major, often life-threatening or highly distressing events. These are the kinds of experiences most people would recognize as traumatic.
Examples include:
Physical or sexual abuse
Car accidents or serious injuries
Natural disasters
Military combat
Sudden loss of a loved one
Being the victim of a crime
Big T trauma often creates a sense of helplessness, fear for your life, or a complete rupture in your sense of safety.
What Is “Little t” Trauma?
Little t trauma includes events that may not seem dramatic on the surface — but still deeply impact your emotional well-being, especially if they happen repeatedly or during critical periods of development.
Examples include:
Being bullied
Emotionally neglectful parenting
Ongoing criticism or rejection
Growing up in a home with high conflict
Experiencing racism, homophobia, or exclusion
Feeling invisible or not good enough
These experiences can quietly erode your self-worth and shape your beliefs about who you are — often leaving wounds that are just as deep.
Single Incident Trauma vs. Complex Trauma
Single incident trauma usually stems from a one-time event — like a car crash or medical emergency. EMDR can be especially effective here, often helping clients feel relief in just a few sessions.
Complex trauma, on the other hand, builds over time. It’s the result of ongoing, chronic experiences — like childhood neglect, emotional abuse, or growing up in an unpredictable environment. People with complex trauma often struggle with trust, emotional regulation, or a deeply rooted sense of shame.
Both kinds of trauma are valid. One is not “worse” than the other — they simply show up differently.
You Don’t Have to “Earn” Your Pain
One of the most common things I hear as a trauma therapist is:
“Other people have had it worse. I shouldn’t be struggling.”
But trauma isn’t a competition. Your experience is real, and your nervous system responded the way it needed to in order to survive. That response — whether it looks like shutting down, anxiety, people-pleasing, or feeling stuck — makes sense when you understand your past.
Therapy Can Help You Heal — Big T or Little t
You don’t have to keep minimizing what happened. Whether your trauma was loud or quiet, brief or long-term, single-event or complex — your pain is valid, and healing is possible.
At Hillcrest Counseling, I specialize in EMDR, brainspotting, and other trauma-informed approaches to help adults process and move forward from painful life experiences. You don’t have to go through it alone.